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On the Margins

Why furlough?

4/21/2017

2 Comments

 
Furlough may seem like a strange thing to many non-missionaries. After all, most other people don't get to just take months "off" from their jobs and still get paid, right?
 
In truth, in many different ways, it's not really time "off," as we use this time to raise funds, build relationships with donors, and speak at churches so that we can (a) share what God is doing in other contexts and how the Great Commission is being fulfilled, and (b) go back to the field without financial worries about how our ministry programs will be funded, or where our next paycheck will come from and. Although we now have so many ways to communicate from a distance electronically, that's a mixed blessing, because it gets harder and harder to get people's attention in midst of the constant noise. We live in a world with unprecedented distractions at our fingertips. There's just nothing like face-time (not the app, but actually being together in person) for sharing your passion.
 
In addition to these aspects of furlough, we'll also have a formal staff role at JBU shepherding missionary kids and international students in attendance there, helping them with the myriad transitions that must be made in a move to the U.S. from outside the country. This role is called Missionaries-in-Residence (or MIRs for the hip), and while it doesn't pay a salary, we will be provided with a furnished house to live in and certain tuition benefits for our kids during the year we are there. While an official State-side role is not always an aspect of furlough, finding a way to bless those in the U.S. with all you have learned is generally considered a good way to grow God's kingdom during furlough, and this one really fits.
 
However, all that said, there IS also an aspect of "rest" to furlough in terms of getting some healthy distance from your sometimes-bizarre "normal." What do we have to rest from?
 
  • Culture fatigue: Many people talk about culture shock as something that happens at first and then goes away. Maybe after that you're not so "shocked," but there continues to be significant ongoing culture stress as a result of living in a foreign place. I confess that there are things about Costa Rica that drive me crazy and always will no matter how acclimated or acculturated I become. Each culture has its own sin patterns and brokenness, and frankly, it's easier to get tired of someone else's baggage. The U.S. also has cultural baggage, but it's known baggage and therefore more comfortable and less work to cope with.
 
  • Culture stripping: This term refers to losing layer after layer of your home culture over the years, like peeling back the layers of an onion. You can begin to feel like you've lost a part of your identity, even though you've gained some other cool parts that have been added in by your experiences overseas. Re-engaging over an extended time with your home culture reduces the feeling of isolation and that feeling that "I don't belong in the country where I serve, but I also don't belong at home anymore. So who am I?" It keeps you from losing yourself and reminds you of who you can be in other contexts.
 
  • Compassion fatigue: Work with the extremely poor day in and day out is emotionally exhausting. As you enter in, identify with them, and help others to shoulder their very heavy burdens, it ends up taking its toll on you, too. The fatalism and despair can swallow you up if you let it. Without regular times of distance from this setting, we could easily burn out and be of no good to ourselves, others, or in His service. Stepping back for a while helps us to remember why we are passionate about this work and why we love the people we work with.
 
  • Manipulation/vulnerability: Living in another country makes you a target for people who want to take advantage of you, sometimes daily. You always stick out as the different one, the one who doesn't know how things work around here. You end up living in a state of constant vigilance after getting taken in a few times, and this can make you hard and cynical. It’s tiring having people routinely approach your car and home to ask you for money, while internally you wrestle with wanting to have an open hand and not be taken advantage of. Returning to your home culture for a while provides a much-needed sense of security and safety, a break where you can just blend in again and not feel so exposed.
 
  • Chaos in the developing world: Living in the capital city of a developing country is intensely chaotic. People are driving on sidewalks and turning right from the left lane and stopping in the middle of the road to have a conversation with someone outside their car. The water or power may be turned off without warning; our Internet is spotty. A traffic jam may cause you to take 1 1/2 hours getting somewhere 2 miles away (yes, it would've been faster just to walk...who knew? -- San Jose has the worst traffic congestion in all of Latin America!). People are throwing their trash on the ground and in the rivers and in the bushes in your front yard. Navigating the labyrinths of health care and immigration is taxing and different every time we go back. You might have to go to 5 different stores to find what you need, because supply chain practices are not what we Americans are used to. Being back in the developed world will remind us that there can be sanity and order. Not that we are entitled to constant comfort and convenience, but a break from the chaos can help us to rejoin it with a better attitude.
 
  • A refill for our empty vessels: Ministry is about defying a natural psychological inclination referred to as the "reward theory" of relationships. This theory says that we will naturally seek to spend time with those whose behavior is rewarding to us in some way, and we will continue relationships in which there are more rewards than costs to us. Clearly, this self-interest is not the way of the gospel, but even Christians instinctively do this, usually without even noticing. This explains why we all seek to spend time with people who are attractive, clever, funny, of our same race, social class or better, who share our opinions and tastes. Ministry, on the other hand, is about engaging unselfishly in relationships that are painful, frequently more costly than rewarding, and with people that are very different and at times difficult to understand. We've been called to live in solidarity with the poor. We believe this is the way of Christ and we are called to follow: to pour ourselves out without expecting anything in return. We believe in this ideal wholeheartedly, and yet we also feel the wear and tear we incur as we walk in the opposite direction of our natural inclinations to flock with others of our kind, flee from uncomfortable/painful situations, and seek personal convenience. Being back home allows us to refill what we have emptied on behalf of others, receiving friendship, solidarity, and comfort from others as they minister to our weary souls.
 
Undoubtedly, many people work very hard in the U.S. But adding the above stressors to a heavy workload can put missionaries into a tailspin if they don't hit the reset button every now and then. I wish it were different and we could perfectly follow Christ in selflessness, humility, kindness, and patience, without needing these crutches of security, comfort, and receiving from others. Certainly this life teaches us how weak we are, but that's not always a bad thing, since it is when we are weak that God is shown strong.
 
 
2 Comments
Michael Reynolds
4/21/2017 09:41:25 pm

We're always a little bit "off." Sometimes just more off than others. Glad you your going to get "off" the ride you have been spinning around on for eight years and enjoy your time off. Sounds like you need to reconnect with yourselves.

Reply
Benjamin link
9/23/2019 09:45:25 am

This is such a blessing to read. I have been in Africa for almost 4 years and I am going through all the things on this list except for "Chaos in the developing world". All other points really hit home with me. I always told people maybe I was going through a bit of culture shock, not that I was but I didn't know how else to describe it. Thank you so much for the blog and I hope you also get the rest you need and stay blessed!

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